Dear Social Network Abuser,
I hope you can take 5 minutes off from constantly updating us about your every move and read this. I know you will be shocked to hear this...no one cares what you are doing right now. The fact that you think someone wants to know what you are doing at every moment is incredible. I love knowing that you have a final tomorrow and are unhappy to be in the library. College is so tough. I don't know how you manage to get through it. I was going to comment on your status and wish you good luck but I figured your status would change before I had a chance to finish. I remember when you told me you were watching Jersey Shore with your friends. At that exact moment I was wondering if you were doing that so thank you for clearing that up. I see your local sports team won today! You must be so proud because you play such an intricate role in their success. I hate you. Also, I love when you insert random inspiration quotes and song lyrics! There is nothing cooler than letting us know your upset about your relationship as you sit in your room listening to the same song on repeat. I know you are too busy with your own status so you never have a chance to check mine. Here it is: I no longer want to be friends with you because you nearly drowned me with your shower of mental diarrhea.
I defriended you,
The World
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